It's too late
by LoZa
Summary: High school fic. Abby seems happy...but her friends become worried when they begin to notice her destructive behaviour. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

_A/N This story takes place while the characters are at high school. Abby and Susan are already friends. Carter has just moved schools and meets them for the first time. _

"Oh hurry up Abby! At this rate we'll never get to school by the first bell."

"Will you relax? We've still got five minutes"

"Yeah but it's the first day of Year 11. Do you know how important this year is for us?"

"Probably the same as last year"

Susan's gave her a look, and Abby could tell she was beginning to get angry.

"Look. If you're so worried about being there on time…why don't you go ahead without me" she suggested.

"Fine. I will. See you at lunchtime Abby"

Abby watched her best friend hurry off round the corner towards their school. She hadn't actually thought she would go without her! Abby continued dawdling, a little pissed off that Susan walked off on her. She heard the school bell in the distance.

"Hmm…I wonder if she made it?" she said under her breath.

She turned the corner and her school came into view. She had always hated school. Susan on the other hand loved it. They really were complete opposites. Abby was quiet, mysterious, not to mention sarcastic. Susan however was a terribly loud person. She loved to tell Abby absolutely everything that was happening in her life! Sometimes they could sit for hours and Abby didn't have to say a word!

And yet here she was…at the place she hated so much…ready for yet another dull and boring year of schoolwork. She went to her locker and threw her stuff in. She didn't even know what class she was meant to be in!

"Oh Algebra! Are you trying to punish me?" She said to no one in particular, throwing her timetable into her mess of a locker.

"Hey there's nothing wrong with Algebra!"

Abby was startled. She hadn't expected anyone to actually answer that question! She spun round, and found she was face to face with a really, really good looking guy.

"I don't believe I was talking to you." She replied coolly, grabbing her books.

"Well, in that case…talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity"

"Oh believe me. I'm already insane" she smiled, shutting her locker.

He smiled back, and Abby realized that he was even better looking when he smiled.

"I'm John by the way. I'm new this year…and it'd be great if you could show me around."

"Show you around? I don't think I even know were I'm going. I'm really not the best person for school tours…"

She paused, thinking over what he'd just asked her. He was very good looking, and he seemed nice. This could be potential, and she was knocking him back.

"…however, I guess I can make an exception for you"

He grinned. "Great. Thanks…ah…."

"Oh sorry. I'm Abby" she blushed slightly.

"So we should probably get to class yeah?" he asked, looking at his timetable.

"I guess. What have you got first?"

"Algebra."

"Well it looks like your coming with me then!"

"Looks that way" he said smiling.

"Don't you think it's kinda ironic that I have all my classes today with you?"

"Ironic?" Abby repeated.

"Yeah. I mean, you're the first person I met at this school, and we just happened to be in the same classes. It's ironic"

"You know, you think about things way too much" she replied shaking her head at him.

"Abigail! Be quiet. I'm trying to take the roll." The first day, and the teachers were already flustered!

"Sorry Miss"

"Uh, John Carter?"

"Here" John replied. The teacher continued taking names, and Abby went back to talking.

"Your last names Carter?" she whispered to him.

"Yeah. Is that a problem?"

"No, it's cool though! I'm totally calling you that from now on." She said; a wry smile on her face.

"Call me what you like. I'll answer, just because it's you though!"

"Aw. First you get me in trouble…now this. I don't know where to begin."

"Shut up" he shot back playfully, turning and facing the other way.

Abby and Susan were sitting outside at lunchtime. Susan was eating a sandwich, and Abby was listening to her story about gym class.

"I mean its gym. It's a waste of a subject anyway. You're either good at it or not...there's no in between." Susan threw her arms up in frustration.

"I totally agree with that."

Abby looked behind her to see John standing behind her.

"You just love doing that don't you?" Abby said.

"Can I sit with you?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah sure." She moved over and he sat down next to her.

Abby suddenly felt someone kick her under the table. She looked up and saw Susan glaring at her. She made a face, and Abby realized she hadn't introduced them yet.

"Oh. Um, Susan this is Carter, Carter this is Susan"

"Nice to meet you" he said, shaking her hand.

"You too. Your new right?"

"Yeah. Definitely not as fun as it looks"

Susan laughed and Abby rolled her eyes. Susan really needed lessons on flirting.

"The food seems to be better than my old school."

"You sound happy about that." Abby teased.

"Oh I am." He smiled. "So where's your food huh?"

"Abby doesn't eat at school" Susan answered.

"Never?" he asked in disbelief.

"Actually, I don't think she eats at all" Susan said grinning.

"Yeah Ha Ha! I eat plenty thank you very much." With that she got up and grabbed her bag.

"Where you going?" he asked.

"Bathroom." She said as she walked off.

"That's code word for a smoke." Susan explained.

"Abby smokes?" he turned his attention back to Susan.

"Oh yeah. She knows how much I hate it…it doesn't stop her though!"

"She just doesn't really look like the type who would that's all."

"Trust me. If there's one thing Abby's good at, it's fooling people. Abby does a lot of things people wouldn't expect her to."

Carter smiled, nodding his head a little.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got to head to the library." Susan said collecting her stuff.

"On the fist day?"

"Oh please…you sound like Abby!" she smiled, then left.

Carter sighed. At least he'd made friends today.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Abby" Carter said from behind where she was sitting.

"Oh hey" she said back. "So it looks like you've survived your first week of school then!"

"Yeah it looks that way doesn't it?"

"I think you did well to survive it. Hell…I barely survived it." She said sarcastically.

"Why are you sitting out here by yourself?"

"Oh I'm just waiting for Susan. She went to some meeting or something after school, and she told me to wait because it would only take a few minutes." Abby said sounding a little frustrated. She took a drag of her cigarette

"You don't mind do you?" she asked cautiously.

"No. I don't care at all."

"Ok. So why are you still here?"

"Uh actually I was looking for you. Then I got lost while I was looking for you, and I'm only just emerging now." He smiled, sitting beside her.

"Ah…looks like the irony's kicking in again then."

"Yeah something like that."

"So why were you looking for me?" Abby asked curiously.

"I uhh….wanted to see what you were up to tonight?" he stammered.

"Why?"

"I just thought you might have wanted to hang out or something."

"Oh I wish I could, but I'm busy tonight." She said, not looking at him.

"Oh, well that's ok" he said, trying to hide his disappointment.

"Maybe some other time?" she added quickly, sensing his mood.

"Yeah, that would be great. I'll see you later then". He smiled, gave her a quick hug and left.

"Well done Abby. Well done." She muttered to herself, finishing off her smoke.

-

"Oh my God, he totally asked you out!" Susan squealed after Abby had filled her in on their way home.

"I don't think so. It was more of a 'hang out' as friend's thing I think."

"No way! He asked you on a date." Susan couldn't wipe the grin off her face. She was happy for her best friend. She knew that Abby was going through some issues at the moment, but she was sure Carter would do her some good.

"Well it doesn't matter anyway. I told him I was busy." Abby said casually.

"You WHAT? Abby are you crazy?"

"But I am busy tonight! Look, I like Carter a lot ok, a real lot. Tonight just really isn't good for me."

"It's a Friday night? What are you doing?" Susan said suspiciously, eyeing her friend.

"Just meeting up with a few old mates. We planned it ages ago, that's all."

Susan furrowed her brow, her eyes still fixed on her best friend.

"Which old mates?"

Abby stopped suddenly, turning on Susan.

"Look it's none of your business ok? I'm just meeting a few people, that's all."

Abby charged ahead of Susan, and kept walking till she was in her front yard. She watched Susan go into her house hurriedly, and suddenly she felt terrible. She sat on her front porch and put her head in her hands. She couldn't understand why she kept stuffing up like this. She didn't mean to yell at Susan like that. Susan was her best friend, and she every right to ask her where she was going. She sighed loudly, then picked herself up and went inside.

-

"Abby where are you going?"

Abby just rolled her eyes at her mother.

"I've already told you like a million times! Out with a few friends."

"Which friends?"

"I don't think you know them" Abby grabbed her jacket and her wallet, heading out of her room.

"Will Susan be there?" her mother continued.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe"

"Well what time will you be home?"

Abby pulled a face from behind her mothers back. Since when did she care what her daughter did? Abby guessed that her mother must have taken her medication today. There was no other reason to explain her out of character behavior.

"I don't know…late. Don't wait up ok? I've got my keys."

"Well…I'd much rather know a time…"

"A time? Mom, seriously, since when do you care what time I'm home?" Abby cut in.

"Of course I care Abby. I'm your Mother for God sakes!" she replied, throwing her arms up in the air.

"Yeah only when you feel like it though."

There was silence between them, until the silence was shattered by the sound of the front door slamming.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N Thanks everyone for the great reviews! I'm really glad you're enjoying it. The new character Blair is mine. He isn't based on anyone etc. Just made up for the point of the story. Anyway...thanks again for the reviews. The story's been pretty harmless so far...just a warning; it's gonna get a bit heavier. Enjoy!_

_-_

"Here you go Abby"

"Thanks Blair" she said, taking the bottle of beer the guy was holding out for her. Blair was a senior at her school, meaning he had a car…and a fake ID. Abby met Blair at the school dance last year. She was sitting outside having a smoke, when he came up and asked for a light. They were both having a crappy time, so they ended up ditching the dance and getting drunk together instead. There was nothing between them, and Blair had never tried to make a move on Abby or anything. They were just really close friends. It was a hard relationship to explain, but somehow, she managed to have fun when she was around him. They never spoke to each other at school, but every now and again, Abby would get a message from him telling her where and when. She'd always spin some lie to Susan, then go and get pissed with him and his mates. She's never actually thought that she'd have another friend that she had to lie to…

"So how's school been treating you?" Blair asked.

"Not too bad I guess. No real complaints as yet. You?"

"Yeah same. Can you believe that a year from now I won't ever have to go to school again?" he said excitedly.

"Now that is something to live for!" she answered smiling.

"Dam right! To my last year of high school" he said, raising his bottle in to the air. They clinked their bottles together, then skulled the rest of their drink.

-

"Wow. I never realized how dark it is at night"

Abby said rather loudly, stumbling onto the footpath. She'd left Blair and his mates half an hour ago, assuring them that she'd be right to walk home. Turns out, she thought wrong. She had no idea where she was, let alone where she was going. Her head was throbbing, and she couldn't understand why she kept tripping over things. Before she knew what she was doing, she was crouching onto the footpath, throwing up her guts.

-

Carter walked out to the front of his house, unable to sleep. It was just after 2am, and he was sick of lying in his bed, unable to shut his brain off. It's not like he was thinking about anything in particular, he was just a bit restless. He was perfectly happy at his new school. It was so much better than attending the stuck up private school he used to go to. The one where everybody was judged by how much money they have, and what their parents did for a living. He couldn't stand the pettiness, eventually whining enough to his parents to let him change schools. He had no real friends at his old school, and yet this week he had met two amazing, but different 'real' friends. Susan was great, and he found that their conversations never felt short. There was always something to talk or laugh about! And then there was Abby. Even though he was trying not to think about it, he knew deep down that he had fallen pretty hard for her. She was all he thought about, and he knew from the very first day he saw her that there was something between them. He just hoped that she'd soon realize that too! His thoughts were broken as he heard a loud noise from the footpath outside his house. Heading cautiously to his front gates, he looked outside. There, outside his house was a girl, trying to get herself up from his front lawn. She was having great difficulty, and kept collapsing into a fit of giggles. A she rolled onto her back, he realized who it was.

"Abby?" he asked in shock.

"Carter? Is that you?"

"Yeah it's me. What on earth are you doing?" He moved towards her, and got her up off the ground.

"I was with some people…and I must have had just the teeniest little too much to drink" she said, motioning the 'teeniest bit' with her hand.

"The teeniest bit hey? Looks like your drunk to me Abby." He said, taking her into his front yard.

"I'm not drunk ok!" she shot back at him, pushing out of his grip.

"Abby. Come back. You can stay here tonight." He called as she walked quickly towards the street again.

"I'm fine!" she shouted over her shoulder, stumbling back onto the footpath.

He shook his head, and then ran back to where she was.

"Look your not fine Abby! I care about you ok. I can't just let you wander round the streets." He said, breathing heavily.

"I don't need your help"

"I'm not saying that. At least let me walk you home…"

"I said I'm fine ok!" she stopped, turning suddenly on him. "Trust me Carter…I've been doing this for a long time now…way before I met you. I've been in this situation a million times before. I've never had anyone to help me then…and I don't need anyone to help me now."

She stared long and hard at him, before she walked away. He watched her go, unsure of how he should be feeling. He didn't understand why she would do it. Sure…it's fun to have a few drinks and be happy and stuff…but this was way beyond him. Abby was drinking to the point of depression. She obviously wasn't just having a few drinks. She was drinking to forget about things. She was trying to make her problems go away.

He walked slowly back to his house, knowing that he was definitely not going to get any sleep tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N Ok this chapter's going to get a little heavy. Just a little warning for those people who are easily upset. etc... You probably shouldn't read on. Thanks again for the great reviews. The lyrics in this chapter are from Evermore's "It's too late". (As well as the title of this story!)_

-

Abby awoke the next morning to a throbbing headache. Her hair was all over her face, and she slowly sat up, trying to push it off her face. She looked around her bedroom, trying to work out why her bed was still made, and she wasn't sleeping in it. She looked down to see that she still had her clothes and shoes on from last night. She must have just passed out onto the floor when she made it home. She was surprised she even found her way to her bedroom. Most of the time she ends up in the park or in her font yard!

Heaving herself up off the floor, she walked to the bathroom. Splashing some water on her face, she looked in the mirror and saw a very, very hung-over version of herself. Suddenly, she felt the urge to throw up again…

"Abby? Are you ok?" her younger brother asked from behind her.

"I'm fine Eric" she turned to face him…before needing to turn back again.

"You don't look ok." He stated, watching her throw up again into the sink.

"Please Eric. Just go watch TV. I'll be fine in a minute."

He shrugged and went back to watching cartoons.

-

Carter woke up the next morning feeling like crap. He'd had hardly any sleep since he'd seen Abby. He'd never seen anyone act like that…ever. It was almost a little scary. Even though he'd only known Abby for a week…he felt as though he'd known her his entire life. The three of them had become quite inseparable, and to see someone he truly cared about like that was strange.

He got out of his bed, and walked down the hallway. The house was quiet, so he was guessing his parents had gone out somewhere. He went to the fridge and decided to make some breakfast. Just as he was about to make it, he changed his mind. He threw the food back, and went back upstairs to get dressed.

-

"Do you want some breakfast?" Abby asked after she had had a shower and felt a lot better.

"Breakfast? It's nearly lunchtime!" her brother said back.

"Well are you hungry?"

"No. I had breakfast a while ago."

"Ok then. That was all I was asking." She said, heading back out of the room.

"Hey Abby? Can I go round to the park for a bit? I told Dave I'd meet him there." Eric called to his sister.

"Yeah ok. Whatever"

Abby watched her brother walk out the door, and jump on his bike. She had no idea where her mother was; therefore she was in charge of Eric.

She went back to her room, throwing on some music. As the song began to play, she thought about how much she'd hurt everyone last night. She'd upset Susan for no apparent reason, she'd upset her mother, probably her brother and new to the list…Carter. He didn't deserve to be thrown into this. Things were different with Susan. Even though she was Abby's best friend…she didn't really know everything about her. That was the way Abby liked to keep things with everybody in her life. She didn't mind being close, but her close definitely came with a certain amount of distance. Never once had she cried in front of Susan. As far as her best friend knew, Abby was perfectly happy, with no problems whatsoever. Little did she know of half the things that Abby felt.

_Ride on… ride 'til early morning turn  
Ride on… like the dawning of the day  
it's too late  
to let all your feelings show  
Go on 'til the night is swept away_

Once again, Abby began to cry. She slid down her bedroom wall, tears flowing steadily. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She didn't understand why she felt like this.

_Running from the city lights  
Running from this empty life  
I'm running out of time tonight  
Screaming out for help! Help!_

Her breathing became more rushed, and now that she had started…the tears weren't going to stop. She was a horrible person. Why was she so selfish? Everyone else could deal with their lives…why the hell couldn't she? She picked up her cell phone angrily, throwing it across the room. It hit the wall with a thud, smashing as it hit the floor.

_Slow down you're moving too fast  
Go home you'll feel better for it  
Oh boy you better stop dreaming it's all in your head  
'Cause it's too late now_

She suddenly knew what she had to do in order to make herself feel better. Getting up off the floor, she wiped her face, getting rid of the tears. She headed to the bathroom again…searching for what she wanted. It wasn't there. Where on earth had she put it?

She began searching through drawers and cupboards, but couldn't find it anywhere.

Cursing loudly, she went back to her room instead. She opened a small box she had sitting on her shelf. Pulling out a pin, she took a deep breath, and rolled up her sleeve. Putting the pin to her wrist, she dug it in to her flesh, leaving a thin trickle of blood on her skin.


	5. Chapter 5

Carter stood outside Abby's house, contemplating what he was about to do. He had thought it was a good idea when he left his house, but now he wasn't exactly sure. He was worried Abby might hate him after last night. He didn't want to upset her, or more importantly, upset their friendship.

"Here goes" he sighed as he knocked on the door.

"Ah…just a minute" he heard Abby call from inside. He listened as he heard her footsteps round the house. It sounded as though she was packing something up. Finally he heard them coming towards the door, making him step back a little.

She flung the door open, stuck for words when she saw who it was.

"Hey Abby."

"Hi" she said quietly, not really looking at him.

"I just…um…I just came to see if you were ok after last night." He said timidly.

"Yeah. I was going to call you about that actually." She moved aside, gesturing for him to come inside.

She sat on her sofa, and he sat beside her.

"Look about all that. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen…so I'm really sorry."

"Are you sorry that you did it, or sorry that you got caught?"

Abby raised her eyebrows at him, shaking her head. She was a little shocked at his question.

"Both"

He nodded, casting his gaze to the floor.

"I am really sorry Carter. If I could take it back you know I would."

She leaned closer to him, taking his hand, forcing him to look at her.

"So do you forgive me?" she asked, her eyes pleading with him.

"Yeah I forgive you. I know that I can't tell you what to do or whatever, I'd just rather that you wouldn't do stuff like that."

Abby nodded, squeezing his hand.

"So do you want a drink or something?" she asked, getting up off the couch. She then realized Carter was still holding her hand, staring at the band aids on her wrist.

"What happened to your wrist?" he asked, pushing the sleeve of her jacket up a little bit.

"Um..." she panicked inside. She had to think of something to cover this, and fast.

"Actually I burnt myself this morning. I was making breakfast for my brother, and I burnt myself on the toaster. Such a stupid thing to do" she said quickly, lying straight out to him. He, however, didn't seem to notice.

"You're an accident waiting to happen you know that?" he said grinning.

"Oh ha ha. You're so not funny!" she said back, sticking her tongue out at him.

"So am I getting this drink or what?"

"Only because I'm nice" she replied, walking to the kitchen.

'That was way too close' Abby thought to her self, getting the glasses from the cupboard.

-

"So you ready for another week of hell or what?" Abby said as Susan came out of her house on Monday morning.

Susan looked right past Abby, and continued walking.

"Susan. Suse come on." Abby said, chasing after her.

"Look I don't want to talk to you right now Abby."

"Yeah I know you don't, but please. I want to apologize ok. I was really horrible to you on Friday night and I want you to know that I'm sorry." Abby said pleadingly.

Susan stopped, turning to her.

"You were horrible. But I accept your apology." She said smiling.

Abby smiled back, hugging her best friend.

"So what_ did_ you do on the weekend?" Susan asked curiously.

"Trust me. You don't want to know. How was your weekend anyway?"

"Yeah not bad. Besides having the usual fight with my parents…."

Abby smiled to herself as she listened to Susan talk about her weekend. Things were back to how they should be. Susan kept talking all the way to school, and that's how Abby liked it. They said their goodbyes when they'd been to their lockers, and headed off to their first class.

Abby did however; make sure that her jacket sleeves were pulled down as far as they could go, so they were almost covering her hands. She'd almost forgotten that she'd need to keep her wrists covered from now on. She didn't want anybody asking her what they were, or why she had them. Truth be told, she was embarrassed by them. She didn't want people to know she had been hurting herself. She didn't want them to worry. She didn't want them to freak out.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N Sorry that it's taken so long to update…but I've been really busy. Had heaps of homework, I guess year 12 does that to a person. Anyway, really sorry if I've kept anybody waiting:P I promise I'll try and update as soon as I can!_

_-_

Abby was unbelievably bored out of her mind during 4th period. As she continued to stare out the window like she had been doing all lesson, her eyes began to get heavy. Her eyelids began to flutter in front of her, and before she knew she had actually drifted off. She couldn't have been asleep for very long, before Susan poked her hard in the ribs with her elbow.

"Ow…geez" Abby said loudly, rubbing her side.

The teacher glanced at the girls, but continued reading out of the textbook.

"What the hell was that for?" Abby hissed at Susan.

"You were asleep"

"Didn't mean you had to poke me so hard." Abby grumbled. Susan stuck her tongue out at her, and Abby returned the gesture.

Abby leaned her head on her arm, and went back to sleeping. Susan was just about to poke her even harder this time, before she stopped mid-action. She squinted a little, praying silently that what she thought she had just seen wasn't actually there.

"Oh God" Susan muttered to herself, unable to take her eyes away from the deep, red cuts on Abby's wrist.

Abby suddenly woke with a start, almost sensing Susan's eyes on her. Seeing the look of shock on Susan's face, Abby quickly pulled her sleeve down. Susan went to say something, but nothing came out of her mouth. Abby turned away sharply; panic once again filling her insides.

She felt a piece of paper being slid towards her, and she took it unwillingly.

_How did you get those?_ Was scribbled at the very top of the page.

Abby paused, before writing back and deciding to play the fool.

_Get what?_

Susan looked at her best friend, and shook her head. Her eyes were full of worry and concern.

_The cuts on your wrist?_

Abby sighed, biting her lip as she wrote what was a pure lie.

_One of the cats from down the road scratched me when I went to pick the bloody thing up_.

Susan gave Abby a pointed look, unable to get her head around the fact that her best friend was blatantly lying to her.

_Don't bullshit me Abby. I'm not an idiot; I know that those are not cat scratches. I don't believe you._

_Fine don't believe me, I don't give a shit what you think anyway._

Abby slid the paper back to Susan. She read it, then scrunched it up and put it in her pencil case. She shook her head again and sighed.

The bell rang, and Abby had never been happier to get out of the now awkward silence between her and Susan.

-

Abby ran straight to the girls toilets at lunchtime, not wanting to deal with Susan. She knew Susan, and she knew that now she had seen them…she'd never hear the end of it. She was going to keep hounding Abby until she got the answers she wanted. Abby sat down on the toilet, wanting to cry but unable to. Instead, she took her scissors out of her bag, and opened them up. She began to slice her wrist, until there were droplets of blood on the fine, vein-like scratches.

-

"Hey Carter" Susan said, sitting down opposite him at lunchtime.

"Hey. Where's Abby? I thought she'd be with you."

"Uh no. I thought she'd be with you actually."

"Oh…?" Carter said a little confused.

"Actually I need to talk to you. You have to promise me thought that you wont say anything."

"I promise."

"No really, really promise. This is huge, and I know I shouldn't be telling you but I have to." Susan said hurriedly.

"You know I won't say anything! What's wrong Susan?" he asked softly, his brow furrowing as he watched Susan stressed out actions.

"I…uh…I saw something on Abby's wrist today in class." She finally stuttered out.

"The burn?"

"I don't know. Maybe that's what she told you."

"I never actually saw it. She had a band aids covering it when I saw her."

"Yeah well she isn't wearing band aids today" Susan said sighing…almost wishing she had been.

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"Her wrist is…" she paused, gulping back the enormous lump in her throat that had suddenly appeared.

"…Her wrist is covered in cuts. She's been doing them herself…I can tell."

It was now Carter's turn to gulp back the new found lump in his throat.

"Are you sure?" he asked, running his hand through his hair.

Susan nodded slowly, silently hoping that she was wrong, and had made some terrible mistake, and from the look on Carters face, she knew that he was hoping for the exact same thing.


	7. Chapter 7

"I mean, does she do that often?" Carter asked.

Susan once again shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd never seen Abby drunk before. She'd seen her tipsy a few times, but never as drunk as what Carter had just described.

"Look, you know Abby a lot better than I do…but I think it's obvious that something is going on with her."

"Yeah. I agree with you." Susan replied, wiping her teary eyes.

"I just wish I knew what to do about it." He said, his voice trailing off a bit.

"Well, I can tell you now…she's going to be stubborn about it. I already tried talking to her this morning when I found out and she completely bit my head off." Susan sighed. "One thing about Abby is that she hates talking about herself. She hates people knowing what she's really feeling. I mean, I've known her for ages now…and yet she still wont open up to me. It's like talking to a brick wall."

"Yeah I guess I picked up on that."

"This is going to be hard, but we just have to show her that we'll be here for her." She said, standing up.

"I can do that" he said, also standing up.

-

Abby was still in the bathroom, waiting for her wrist to stop bleeding. It didn't usually take this long. She'd been sitting there listening to people walk in and out. Listening to their superficial conversations, which boy they liked, which girl was a bitch, and any other petty conversations one could think of. It was however, nice and quiet now. There hadn't been anyone in or out for about 5 minutes. And that's what Abby liked. Peace and quiet. Being by herself.

A loud bang interrupted her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She'd obviously spoken too soon, rolling her eyes at the fact that someone was in the bathroom.

"Abby? Are you in here?"

Abby rolled her eyes again, whacking her hand against the side of the cubicle.

"Yes Susan. I'm in here."

"Can I talk to you?" she asked quietly, standing outside the cubicle she knew Abby was in.

"Not right now ok. Maybe later."

"I want to talk now" Susan replied coolly.

"Yeah well I don't." Abby snapped back. "Now really isn't a good time ok?"

"Why not?"

"It just isn't aright." She looked down at her still bleeding wrist. There were still little droplets of blood coming out of the new scratches.

"Please, just leave me alone Susan"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Fantastic" Abby muttered, sitting down again.

Before she knew what was happening, Susan's head popped up over the side.

"I knew you were lying to me" she said disapprovingly, looking at Abby's newly scratched wrists.

Abby jumped up, swinging open the door. She angrily walked into the next cubicle, where Susan had just jumped down from the toilet.

"That is an invasion of privacy!" she shouted angrily.

Susan pushed passed her, out into the bathroom.

"I'm worried about you ok. And now I know that I definitely have reason to be!"

Abby shook her head in anger, closing her eyes tight for a second.

"You still had no fucking right to do that to me Susan."

"Your right. I didn't and I'm sorry. I just want to help you." She said softly, moving closer to her.

"I don't need your help. There's nothing wrong with me."

"Maybe you should talk to the schoolcounselor. It might help."

"You don't get it do you? There's nothing wrong with me. I'm not crazy, I don't need a god dam counselor." Abby replied, anger once again rising in her voice.

Susan nodded, slightly frustrated and hurt by Abby's words right now.

"So can we just forget about all this please?" Abby said, moving away from Susan.

"I can't just forget about it Abby."

Abby shrugged, silently telling her that she didn't no what more she could say. She swung open the door heading outside, leaving a sobbing and scared Susan alone in the bathroom.

-

Carter, who was waiting outside the bathroom, had pretty much heard the girl's entire conversation.

"Abby" he called, running after her.

Abby rolled her eyes again, continuing to walk at a brisk pace.

He finally managed to get in front of her, but she just seemed to push him out of the way.

"Abby" he said again, grabbing her by the hand.

"Let go of me" she said, flustered.

He took her other hand, leaning over a bit so he was staring directly into her eyes.

"Talk to me Abby. Talk to me." He pleaded.

He noticed that her eyes had suddenly become glassy, and that she was fighting back the urge to cry.

"I can't" she whispered, looking away.

"Yes you can Abby. I know you can" he pulled her gently into his arms, hugging her.

She rested her head against his chest for a second, and then felt the sudden need to cry again. She pulled out of his grip, taking a few steps back.

"I'm sorry Carter. I'm really sorry"

He watched her walk away, wondering what had made him hug her like that…or more importantly; why she had let him.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N So sorry that im taking my time updating! Im really busy and trying to keep ideas coming is difficult. Thank you all so much for your great reviews! i really appreciate them. Anyway, uploaded a fair bit to keep you all going:P_

* * *

When Abby got home that night after school, she had 2 missed calls and a message on her cell phone. They were all from Susan, and Abby sat down on her bed to read the message.

_Abby I don't understand y ur doing this, but I want u 2 know that I will always be here for you. Plz, call me whenever you need 2. Lv Susan_

Abby closed her eyes tight, once again throwing her phone across the room. She hated who she was turning into. She hated that she had now dragged her friends into this mess as well. She slid down her bedroom wall, letting the tears she had been holding in all day flow down her face.

-

Abby got to school late the next morning, mainly because she had hung back to avoid Susan. She rushed to her locker, heading to her math classroom.

"Good afternoon Abby" her teacher said sarcastically.

"Sorry Miss." Abby mumbled quietly, taking a seat next to Carter.

Carter smiled his hello to her, and she half smiled back.

"I'm sorry about yesterday afternoon" she said, looking straight ahead.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed it with you like that."

"Please. It was my fault, and I'm really sorry." She said genuinely, looking at him now. He turned to face her, and she could see in his eyes that he was still hurting. She felt a guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach, almost making her want to cry again.

"Abby. Stop talking." The teacher bellowed at her. "Actually, you can move up here in front of me where I can see you."

"I'll stop talking Miss"

"I still want you to move though."

Abby rolled her eyes and nosily packed up her books. Carter smirked at her, and she mouthed the words 'shut up' to him. She walked to the front of the classroom where the teacher was pointing, and threw her stuff on the desk. She hated when teachers moved you like you were still a little kid.

"Alright, do the first 3 exercises of chapter 6 in your textbook, the notes we wrote yesterday should cover that."

Abby watched her teacher, Miss Walker sit down at her desk, and get her things out. She wasn't sure why, but Miss Walker was one of the only teachers she actually liked. She was nice to Abby most of the time, and generally seemed to be a nice person. She absolutely hated math, and usually just sat at the back and did other work. She hadn't done any math in ages come to think of it.

"Abby"

Abby looked at her teacher, a little startled. She'd forgotten she was in the teacher's direct view now.

"Are you going to start?" she asked softly.

"Uh yeah."

Abby took out her books, flicking through her notebook. It was quite empty, and didn't seem to have any notes from yesterday in it.

"Actually, I think I'm going to come around and check your homework from last week while you're doing that" Miss Walker said, getting up from her desk and heading down to the back of the room. Abby spun round to look at Carter, who held up his book and gave her a thumbs up. Abby turned back to the front, rolling her eyes. Her friends were such geeks.

-

It took Miss Walker about half an hour to get to Abby. Abby had been sitting staring into space for most of it, but now had a little feeling of panic inside of her. Naturally, she hadn't done the work, and she didn't feel like getting in trouble.

"Can I see your work Abby?"

"Uh, um" Abby stuttered.

"Have you done the work?" she asked calmly, kneeling on the ground next to Abby.

"Um, no not really."

Miss Walker took Abby's notebook, and flicked through it.

"Most of the work's missing Abby. What have you been doing this entire lesson? You haven't even taken down the notes I've given you on the board." she said, a little disappointed.

"Yeah. Sorry" Abby replied, looking away from her teacher.

"Is everything alright with you?" she asked genuinely.

"I'm fine, really. I'll try to catch up."

"I think you better. I'll check your book again next lesson. Otherwise I'm going to have to send a letter home."

"Whatever. I'll catch up." Abby said nodding. She pushed her hair back behind her ears, and she noticed Miss Walker give her a funny look. She stared at her for a few seconds, and then walked off to check the next persons work.

-

Abby watched the clock, silently counting down the seconds till the bell. This double math lesson had seemed to take forever. Finally the bell rang, and the sound of chairs and tables banging was all that could be heard.

"Abby. Can I talk to you for a second?" Miss Walker asked as she got her stuff together.

"Sure" she replied, a little suspicious. Miss Walker had been looking at her strangely ever since she'd checked her work. She was trying to work out what else she'd done wrong…

"I won't keep you for long." Miss Walker said when the rest of the class had left and they were alone.

"Ok, but if it's about the work I will try and catch up" Abby replied.

"It's not about the work Abby." She said, pausing for a second. She almost looked a little nervous about something.

"I think we need to talk about the cuts I just saw on your wrist."


	9. Chapter 9

"I think we need to talk about the cuts I just saw on your wrist."

Abby almost fell over in shock. How the hell did her teacher know about it? Her automatic reaction was that Susan or Carter had told her, but the more she thought about the more silly it sounded. They were worried of course, but they wouldn't have done that.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Abby." Miss Walker said calmly, knowing she was lying to her. "I just saw them before. After I checked your work, you fiddled with your hair and I saw them."

Well at least now she knew why the teacher was giving her funny looks all lesson.

"Honestly, it's nothing." Abby mumbled.

"Can I see them then?"

Abby looked at her teacher, and could see that she just wanted to help her. Her eyes were full of compassion, and her comforting smile was genuine. Abby sighed a little, then rolled up her sleeve, and put her wrist out in front of Miss Walker. She gently took Abby's wrist, inspecting the sore, red scratches. She rubbed her finger over them, and then moved her glance back to Abby.

"Do you know why you do it?"

Abby shook her head, this time staring directly at her teacher. She wasn't sure why, but she felt comfortable around her. She wanted to tell her everything, but wasn't sure if she really should.

"Is there something happening at home? Or are you stressed?" she asked, throwing around some ideas. She was naturally concerned about any of her students, but there was something about Abby that told her she need help…she just couldn't ask for it.

"No, I don't think so. It started as a little thing you know. Every now and again. It's just lately; it's been getting a little out of hand. Now my friends know about it, and they're totally freaking out."

"Is it freaking you out?"

Abby paused, thinking over the question.

"Yeah. It is a little bit." She answered truthfully.

"Do you feel better now that I know? Like something's been lifted off your shoulders?"

"Umm. I'm not sure. I guess"

"Ok. Well you can always come and talk to me about anything. I'll gladly make time for you." Miss Walker said reassuringly.

"Thanks."

Miss Walker knew she had to tell Abby something else, but she wasn't sure how exactly she would take it.

"Now Abby, anything you tell me is strictly between us. I won't tell your parents or anything like that."

"Good" she replied bluntly.

"You don't get along?'

"You could say that" she answered, looking away again.

"Well that's ok. Most people don't." Miss Walker said smiling. Abby smiled back, and Miss Walker could tell that she wanted to leave.

"I am however, legally obliged to talk to the counselor about this."

"Please don't Miss. You don't have to do you?" Abby asked, her voice picking up speed.

"I'm afraid I do. You can make the decision whether or not to talk to her, but I want you to know that I have to tell her. I have to talk to her about what you're doing."

"Fine. Whatever." Abby said, heading for the door.

"Remember what I said Abby. Whenever you need to talk…" Miss Walker called to her back.

Abby spun around, her hand on the door.

"I know. Thanks a lot Miss."

She opened the door and stepped outside, breathing deeply. Miss Walker was right. She really did feel like something had been lifted off her shoulders. It was the first time she had felt slightly happy in ages. She did however; feel a little edgy and anxious after that conversation. She headed outside, deciding to go for a smoke to calm her nerves.


	10. Chapter 10

Carter and Susan were sitting outside at lunchtime, Susan studying for her science test, and Carter playing on his cell phone.

"Hey where's Abby?" Susan suddenly asked.

"I don't know."

"Didn't you just have math with her?"

"Oh yeah." Carter thought for a second, trying to work out why he hadn't walked out with Abby.

"She got moved during the lesson, and Miss Walker told her to stay back after class. I think she was behind in her homework or something."

"Well that does sound like Abby!" Susan said smiling. She felt a little better about the whole situation today. She knew Abby wasn't fixed or anything like that, but at least she had done everything she could possibly do to show her friend that she cared about her. It was also good to know that Carter was aware of it as well. It was nice to think that someone was in the same state of mind as her. She looked at Carter, who was lost in his own thoughts again. She knew from the moment he sat down on his first day, that he had a thing for Abby. The way he looked at her, the way he flirted with her…and she flirted back. It was kind of cute actually. She just hoped that Abby really did know that she had two great friends that would always be there for her.

-

Abby came out of her house the following morning, to see Susan waiting outside her house.

"Do you know what time it is?" Abby asked, a little taken aback that Susan had waited for her.

"Yes, I am well aware that we are going to be late."

Abby smiled a little, walking over to where Susan was waiting, and tapping her foot impatiently.

"You didn't have to wait you know."

"I know." Susan replied grinning. "But I wanted to."

Abby nodded, giving Susan a hug.

"Thanks Susan. And I'm really sorry about what happened the other day. I should never have put you through all this shit. I didn't want you to find out because I didn't want you to worry. But I am sorry; especially about the other day in the bathroom." Abby stopped and took a breath, biting her lip nervously.

"I know your sorry Abby. I just wish you would have told me you know. I mean, I don't think hurting yourself is the answer. Surely calling me or Carter is a better option?"

"Yeah."

"Well my phone is on 24-7. I don't care what time it is, whenever you fell like cutting yourself, please call me instead."

"Ok"

"I don't want you to just say Ok if you don't really mean it. I want you to promise me that you wont do it again" Susan said, her eyes wide and pleading.

Abby sighed, not knowing how to answer. She wanted to say she meant it, but she didn't know if she really did mean it. And she didn't want to disappoint Susan.

"Well…?"

"I promise. I'll call you instead."

The bell rang in the distance, and the two girls quickly headed off to school.

-

Abby rushed through the corridors, struggling with her books and note paper after getting them from her locker. She had no idea how Susan got organized so bloody fast!

"You're late again Abby" Miss Walker said as she came through the door in a fluster.

"I'm really sorry Miss."

Abby walked in, heading to the empty seat beside Carter.

"Where do you think your going Abby? Your spots at the front now remember."

"Oh yeah. Sorry Miss Walker."

"That's ok. Take a seat. Were on page 224." Miss Walker watched to make sure Abby had opened her books, before going on teaching.

-

After yet another boring lesson of math, Abby once again couldn't wait for the bell to ring. Just as she it finally rang, Miss Walker kneeled down beside her desk.

"Did you get that work done from yesterday?" she asked.

"Um, the stuff from yesterday yes." She replied, shouting over the noise of students leaving.

"What about the other gaps you had?"

"Not yet. Can I just have a bit more time?" Abby tried pushing her teacher that little bit further. She really needed an extension on the work.

"If you need help with it, you can come and see me."

"It's ok. I'll get on it." Abby said quickly.

"Good. This is your 2nd warning. One more and I'm sending a letter home."

Abby smiled her thanks, and began to pack up her books.

"Oh. I've got this for you too." Miss Walker said, going to her desk and pulling out an envelope with Abby's name on it.

Abby looked at her strangely, cautiously taking the letter form her. She opened it to see what she had already guessed it would be. A counseling appointment.

"You said this was my choice" Abby hissed angrily.

"I know I did, and I shouldn't have told you that but the counselor really wants to talk to you. It's a compulsory meeting."

Abby said nothing, silently fuming, and almost glaring at her teacher.

"I think you should give it a go Abby. She's a really nice person…"

"Yeah well I thought you were too" Abby muttered under her breath, cutting her teacher short, and leaving the room.

Miss Walker watched her leave, unable to stop her. She ran a hand through her hair, closing her eyes in frustration; angry at the way she'd handled things.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N hey in reply to a couple of your reviews...I'm 16 years old, and probably the only reason I can write bout this kind of stuff is beacause I've been through it. most of the stuff happenning in this story is based on things that have happennedto me. So yeah...please keep reviewing. Thanks so much

* * *

'What the hell?' Abby thought to herself as she stormed out of her math classroom. Miss Walker had clearly said that the counselor was her choice. She did however; feel bad for flying off the handle like that. She knew that Miss Walker was only trying to help her. She stopped, pondering whether or no to go back and apologize. She jumped in shock when she suddenly felt someone's hand grab her arm.

"Oh hey Carter" she said, her breathing slightly rushed.

"You ok?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Not really."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly.

"I'm in trouble Carter. I'm in a whole lot of trouble."

"Maybe the counselor isn't such a bad idea Carter suggested after Abby had filled him in with what was happening.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt" she replied, obviously a lot calmer and more rational than before.

"I mean, you're not exactly an open person Abby. Who knows, you might find talking to a counselor easier than talking to Susan or me?"

"I'm ok talking to you" she said quietly.

"What?'

"I said I don't mind talking to you. I don't know why, but I just feel a little more comfortable telling you my problems." She said shyly.

Carter smiled, his stomach doing flips at the fact she had just said that.

"I like listening to you Abby, you know that. I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks Carter" she said hugging him.

He was almost grinning with excitement at this conversation. He loved hugging her. He loved the way she fitted into his arms with ease, as though they were made for each other. It was an amazing feeling.

Abby sat outside the counselor's office, waiting anxiously for her to finish. Her door opened, and a girl younger than Abby came out, her eyes glassy with tears. She glanced at Abby, then quickly hurried away, embarrassed.

"Well this should be fun" Abby muttered sarcastically to herself.

"Abigail?" a tall, slim woman asked.

"Yeah. Abby will do though."

The lady smiled warmly, gesturing for her to come into her office.

"Take a seat Abby" She shut the door, sticking a 'do not disturb' sign on the front of it. She sat in front of where Abby was sitting, so they were opposite.

"Well my name is Miss Watts, and since this is our first meeting, I need to go over a few things with you."

"Ok" Abby replied, nerves taking over her entire body.

"First off, anything you tell me is confidential, and won't be passed on to any other students or teachers without your consent. There are however, a few exceptional circumstances in which I might need to contact a parent or guardian, or get outside help."

Abby gulped, hoping to God that she didn't have to get her mother involved.

"If you're doing or selling drugs at school, obviously teachers and the headmaster will need to be informed. If you are bullying others, or being bullied, teachers and/or parents may need to know. If you're hurting yourself or others in any way, parents will need to be notified. And if you're having any suicidal thoughts, or you are suicidal, I may need to ask for outside help."

Abby nodded, making a quick decision not to mention anything about her cutting. There was no way she was letting her mother get involved. She didn't need her help.

"So…" Miss Watts started, waiting to see if Abby wanted to say anything. Realising immediately what she was dealing with, she knew she was going to really have to push to get anything out of Abby.

"Miss Walker paid me a visit yesterday afternoon. She sounded really concerned about you."

Abby nodded again, still not saying anything.

"She told me you've been hurting yourself." Miss Watts asked in a serious tone, breaking Abby's silence.

Abby rolled her eyes, pissed off that her plan was ruined already. Obviously Miss Walker had already told her everything.

"You could say that."

"She said it was on your wrist. Is that the only spot?" she asked. She took Abby's wrist, pushing up her sleeve to see.

"Yeah that's the only spot."

"Ok. Does anyone know about this? Your parents, friends? Or just Miss Walker?"

"Miss Walker and my two best friends."

"How bout the last time you did it? When was that?" she now had a pad and a pen, writing some things down.

"Um, a couple of days ago." Abby changed her glance back the floor.

"Where were you? At home, at school?"

"At school"

"And what made you want to do it? How were you feeling? What had happened?" she asked curiously.

Abby sighed loudly, shaking her head a bit. "A lot happened."

"Well why don't you start at the beginning?"

Abby bit her lip, closing her eyes tight for a second. She didn't want to do this. Why had she been so careless? She could have avoided this.


	12. Chapter 12

Abby looked at her hands, and realized they were shaking.

"It's alright Abby. You've done really well today." Miss Watts said, smiling warmly.

Abby nodded; her breaths just as shaky as her hands.

"Try to relax. Am I making you nervous?" she asked, noticing how Abby was a bit fidgety, and that her hands were trembling.

"A little." She replied truthfully.

"Well, the bell's just about to go, so that means our times almost up. We've talked about what you could do instead of hurting yourself, so I want you to really focus on those this week." Miss Watts walked over to her desk, grabbing her appointment book.

"I do however want to see you next week."

"Oh. Again?"

Miss Watts smiled. "You didn't think you were getting out of it that easy did you?"

Abby shrugged, wishing that she had been.

"Ok. Next Friday, period 4. Is that ok with you?"

"I guess."

"Good" she said, writing Abby's name in her book.

Abby cleared her throat, wanting to ask the question she was dreading even thinking about.

"Um, your not going to tell my mum are you?" she asked timidly.

"Well, I don't think there's any need just yet. You seem to be in control of what you're doing. Naturally I would prefer to talk to parents about these kinds of issues, but if you're really against me telling her, which I can see you are, then I respect that."

Abby took a deep breath, glad that's he had asked, but still not entirely convinced that as soon as she left the room Miss Watts wouldn't be on the phone to her mother. Truth be told, she really just didn't trust her yet.

"If I really needed to talk to her, or I felt it necessary for her to be aware, then I would always warn you first. I'd give you the option of either being there with you while you told her, or me just telling her, but I promise you I wouldn't do anything behind your back. Ok?"

"Ok. Thanks" Abby said, getting up.

"No worries. Look after yourself, and I'll see you next week." Miss Watts said, opening the door for her.

Abby half smiled, eager to get out of the room.

"So…How did it go?" Carter asked when he found Abby at lunch.

"It was ok I guess. She's not going to get my mom involved just yet anyways."

"That's great. Did it help at all?"

"I don't know. At times I thought it was, but other times it just felt like she was being nosy."

"Do you have to see her again?"

"Yeah. Next week. I don't think I'm going to be able to get out of this either."

"Well maybe it's best if you don't try and get out of it."

"True…" Abby replied, and Carter could tell that she wanted to get off the subject entirely.

"So…have you seen Susan around?"

"Ah no actually" she said smiling, glad that he had taken the hint. She suddenly thought of something she had been going to do, but had been interrupted while on the way.

"Hey I'm sorry Carter, but I've got to go find someone. I'll catch you after school" she said over her shoulder, already walking off.

"Yeah, catch ya" he said quietly, as Abby had already hurried off without a second glance.

Abby took a deep breath before turning the corner where Miss Walker's office was. Her hands were shaking again, but she really wanted to talk to her. Or more importantly, apologize. She turned the corner, startled when she saw Miss Walker headed in her direction.

"Hi Miss Walker" she said shyly.

"Hey Abby."

"Um, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure" she said, leading her back to her office.

Once inside, she shut the door and sat on her desk.

"So what's up?"

"I ah, just wanted to say sorry for snapping at you before. I was out of line, and I shouldn't have gotten so worked up about it." She said, her gaze focused more towards the ground.

"It's fine Abby, really."

"No it's not" she said a little louder, her fist clenched. "I had no right to speak to you like that. You were only trying to help me."

"Honestly Abby, its fine. Don't stress yourself out about it." She said, trying to make eye contact with her.

Abby nodded, still focusing on the ground.

"Did you go to your appointment?"

"Yeah. It was…Um…difficult. But I'm going to work on it."

Miss Walker smiled, relieved that she wasn't fighting her about this anymore. She was so sure that Abby would never speak to her again. The fact that she had come to apologize was definitely a good sign.

"I'm glad to hear that"


	13. Chapter 13

"Alright. I guess I'll see you next week then." Miss Watts said, opening the door for Abby.

"Yeah, see ya"

Miss Watts watched Abby quickly leave, and then flopped back down into her chair. She got out the notes she had been taking, and read over them. She sighed loudly, resting her head in her hands. It had been five weeks and Abby really hadn't made much of an improvement. She was still cutting herself, still very closed up, and still looked at her as though she didn't trust her.

Susan sighed, watching as Abby walked off from their lunch table to go to the "bathroom". Susan knew Abby had been seeing the counselor for about five weeks, but she really didn't see much difference in her friend. She still seemed depressed, even more so after her appointments. And Susan had seen several new scars on her wrists. She'd tried to ask her about it, but as usual Abby said it was nothing. She's seen her quite a few times smoking cigarette after cigarette at parties, and she knew she was doing that because she was stressed out. She tried helping her. She was getting tired of trying to help, but never actually getting anywhere.

Carter watched Susan's reaction when Abby got up to go for a smoke. He could tell in her eyes that she was worried, as was he. Instead of getting better seeing this bloody counselor, she seemed to be getting worse. She seemed pissed off and angry all the time. He also knew that she had been drinking…a lot. Not just with friends either. Sure she'd get a bit drunk at parties with everyone else, but she also been getting drunk at home by herself. He was smart enough to know that that wasn't really a healthy thing to be doing. She'd found a bottle shop that would sell her grog without ID, meaning she had access to it whenever she wanted. She'd told him this in confidence, and heck he'd even been around a couple of times to get drunk with her. He figured that if she was desperate to get drunk, he might as well be there to look after her. That said, he knew that she was also doing it behind his back. Susan had no idea about the alcohol, and he was pretty sure it was a good idea to keep it that way.

Miss Walker sighed as she looked over Abby's last test paper. She hadn't got one question right. She had the lowest test score in the class, not to mention the biggest drop in grades. Her work ethic had completely changed since she had started seeing the counselor. She'd really hoped that seeing her would do her some good, and it seemed to at the beginning. Abby seemed to be going backwards right now though. She didn't participate in class, let alone concentrate and she hadn't done any of the set homework. She picked up her phone in her office, biting her nails as she did so.

"Can you put me through to Miss Watts please? Thanks"

Abby lit up her cigarette, eager to have the bitter taste in her mouth. She inhaled deeply, getting the nicotine she had been craving for all day. She'd been smoking a lot more since she'd been seeing the counselor. She couldn't help it…she was just a bit stressed out at the moment. The counselor seemed to be working at the start, but now she just dreaded going to those stupid, pathetic sessions that she hated so much. They were a complete waste of time. She was trying so hard to stop cutting at the start, but now, she really didn't care. It was too hard to stop. Everything was too far gone…


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N Once again thanks so much for all your reviews! I know this story's a bit depressing, but I'm just trying to tell it how it is. Heaps of people got through this, and they need to learn that there's nothing to be ashamed of. So please keep reading and reviewing…and I'll keep updating._

* * *

Abby sat down at her desk in her bedroom, putting on some music. She was meant to be studying, but she knew that she wasn't in the mood for schoolwork right now. She sighed, thinking about everything that had been happening in the last few weeks. Her grades at school had dropped completely. The counselor said Miss Walker had contacted her last week, saying that Abby's work had gone downhill. She also said two of her other teachers had contacted her, thinking maybe there was something going on at home that she should see the counselor about. Of course, Miss Watts wasn't allowed to tell them anything, but the fact that teachers were talking about her behind her back still freaked Abby out.

Aside from that, Susan and Carter had been as supportive as they possibly could be, and that was something Abby was truly thankful for. She chewed on her lip, as she thought over an idea in her head. She took out a piece of paper, deciding to write Susan and Carter a letter to thank them, and to try explaining.

Abby walked into school the next morning late as usual. She spotted Carter first, and he smiled at her, changing his direction towards her.

"Hey you" he said.

"Hey." She replied, opening her locker.

"You ok?" he asked.

She sighed, rolling her eyes. She hated the way everybody did that. She had to be bloody happy all the time or they think there's something wrong. Is she ever allowed to just be 'normal' anymore?

"I'm fine" she snapped back. She shook her head as she saw his eyes fall. That had come out a little bitchier than she had anticipated…but she was still ticked off. She didn't want to be treated like something that was about to break.

"Sorry, it's just…I get sick of people asking me that all the time"

"Fair enough. I've got to go to class" he said, quickly turning and walking off.

"Carter wait." She said, running up behind him. "I'm sorry" she said again, this time really meaning it.

He smiled slightly. "I know you are."

"Oh, I've got something for you." She said, getting the letter out of her pocket.

"What's this?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"It's just a letter. It's for you and Susan."

"Both of us? Do we have to read it together?"

"You can if you want. I don't really care" she smiled, collecting her stuff and heading off to class.

Carter went in the opposite direction, curious as to what was in this so called 'letter'.

Carter had told Susan about Abby's letter, and they had decided to read it together after school. They walked to the park near their school, the curiosity burning into each of them.

_Dear Susan and Carter,_

_As you can probably tell, this letter is for both of you. Either read it separately and pass it on, or read it together…I don't really mind. I know you probably think this is weird because I don't usually write letters, but I really need to say a few things. First off, I'm sorry for everything I've put you both through. I'm a horrible, horrible friend for doing this to you, and I have no idea why you're still talking to me. I wish I could give you exact reasons as to why I feel the way I do…but I can't. Hell I don't even know. I do know however, that I want to be happier; I'm just not sure how to go about it. I'm still seeing the counselor, but only because I'm being made to. I hate going there, and talking about this kind of stuff, so that's probably why it's not having much of an impact. If anything, it's only making everything worse. I'm trying to cut back on my drinking, but it's a lot harder than it looks. You probably don't know how much I actually drink by myself, and I know that it's bad and stuff…but it's something I'm trying to get under control. Its habits like that that can wreck your life forever I know._

_I wish I could tell you more, but I really don't think I can. I just wanted, and needed you to know how much you both mean to me, even though I don't show it that well. You've stuck by me, and I thank you heaps for that. In fact, I probably owe you my life. I really just want you two to move on with your life though. I don't want to be holding you back. I want to just forget any of this ever happened. I know it's probably not possible though. Anyway, I really do appreciate you both. You mean so much to me. I love you both…_

Carter let out a loud breath. He hadn't breathed the entire time he'd been reading that letter. He didn't think Susan had either. He wasn't sure what to make of it.

"So what do you think?" he asked softly, breaking the dead silence with his voice.

"Honestly?" Susan said, turning to face him. He could now she that her eyes were glassy, and she had tear stained cheeks.

He nodded, wanting to know what Susan was thinking.

"Honestly…" she paused, wiping her tears away. Carter gulped, suddenly scared of what Susan was going to say. He could see she was having trouble even thinking about it.

"I think it's a goodbye letter"


	15. Chapter 15

A/N I know its been a while...but i've finally got some time to update. It's nearly holidays so hopefully i'll be able to wrap this story up soon. I've still got a fair bit to go though. Thanks to everyone who has sent me reviews! Greatly appreciated...)

* * *

Abby sat in her room, finishing off one can of drink, before quickly opening another. She knew she'd said she was going to stop drinking by herself, and she was. She'd just had a couple of cans sitting in her room that she decided she needed to get rid of. Suddenly she heard her cell phone ringing. She scurried round her room. Trying to find where on earth she'd put it. The ringing stopped, but then started again. This happened a few more times, until she finally found where her phone was hiding. She looked at the screen…it was Susan. She hesitated, holding the phone in her hand. She wasn't sure if she should answer it. It could very well just be Susan wanting to give her an ear bashing over the letter. She pushed the answer button, taking a deep breath and holding the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Abby? Is that you?" Susan voice said hurriedly.

"Yes it's me. Who else would answer my phone?"

"Oh thank god" she said, and Abby could tell that her she had been crying.

"Susan, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" she snapped. "What's wrong? I can't believe you even need to ask that Abby."

"What the hell are you on about?" Abby asked confused, grabbing her drink off the floor.

"The letter…I thought….I thought" Susan stuttered, and she was crying freely now. "I thought it was a goodbye letter"

There was silence for a minute, as Abby thought about what her best friend had just said. How on earth had she interpreted that letter into a goodbye letter?

"Why the fuck would you even think that?" Abby said angrily, breaking the eerie silence between them.

"I don't know…It was just the way you wrote it I guess. And then I kept calling, but you weren't answering, and I was so scared."

Abby listened to her friend sobbing, and realized just what a horrible friend she was. It had dawned on her. She _didn't_ deserve to live. What kind of person puts people through this kind of shit? What kind of person puts their best friend through this much turmoil?

"I'm really sorry Susan. I'm so sorry."

Susan paused for a minute, and Abby guessed that she was wiping away her tears and trying to compose herself.

"I didn't mean to jump to conclusions or anything."

"No, this isn't your fault. I'm so sorry. You've been nothing but good to me. This is my entire fault." Abby was now the one holding back tears.

"No…Abby it's not"

"Yes it is." Abby interrupted. "Look Susan. I have to go. I'm really sorry."

"I think you should call Carter though. He's worried too"

"I will. Bye Susan. I love you."

"I love you too Abby"

Abby hung up; sculling the rest of her drink and throwing the empty can across the room.

She was such a bitch. Such a horrible, horrible person. She hated being this way. She hated everything about herself.

She dialed Carter's number, but he wasn't picking up. She did however; know she needed to tell him she was sorry. She decided to text him.

_Hi Carter. I rang, but you didn't answer. I just needed to tell you that I love you. I love you more than you will ever know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything._

She sent the message, and then put her phone down. She knew what she had to do now. There was only one way that she could fix her friends lives…and that was for her to get out of it. They'd be much happier without her. She walked out of her room in a daze, almost bumping into Eric as she did so. She'd forgotten he was still here.

"Are you ok? You were screaming really loud before." He asked.

"Yeah I was just on the phone."

"Mom hasn't come home yet Abby." He said a little sadly.

"I didn't think so" Abby replied bitterly. She thought for a moment, knowing that she couldn't do this while her brother was in the house. She felt bad leaving him with her mother though. He'd have no one whatsoever to protect him. She pushed those thoughts out of her mind.

"I think you should go round to Dave's house and ask if you can stay the night."

"Really?" he said excitedly.

"Yeah. I'm going out, and I don't want you here by yourself." She handed him the phone.

"Call first. Tell him that your mom hasn't come home again, and there's no one to look after you."

Abby watched her brother dial the numbers, and walk off down the hallway.

About half an hour later, Eric was ready to go.

"I'm going Abby" he called.

"Ok. Say thank you to Dave's mom alright?"

"Ok, I will." He opened the door, eager to go.

Abby pulled her brother into a hug.

"I love you Eric. I always will."

"I love you too" he said puzzled, giving his sister a strange look.

"Don't let her ruin your life" she said as he walked out of the house.

"As if!" he said back. "I learnt from you remember!" he said grinning. He waved, and then headed round the corner on his bike.

Abby smiled, and then shut the door. She was alone. There was no going back now.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N this chapters short…but a little heavy. If you're not into this kind of thing, (suicide etc) you should probably stop reading.

* * *

Abby searched through her pantry, finally emerging with what she wanted. Going through her mother's medicine, she carefully took out each individual packet and studied them. She could really start to feel the alcohol starting to kick in, as her legs suddenly went to jelly and her head began to fell heavy. She began to get frustrated when she couldn't find the ones she really wanted. She began throwing the boxes on the floor as she looked at them. Finally, she found just what she had hoped she'd find. Painkillers.

She took the container, kicking the other boxes out of her way. She went and took her mother's bottle of vodka out of one of the cupboards. She took a deep breath. This was it. This is what she wanted. There was no going back now. It was time she got out of everyone's lives and stopped causing them so much bloody heartache. She opened the container, and poured its entire content into her hand. Her hand was shaking violently, and she could feel tears escaping form her cheeks.

"This could be the end of everything…"

"This could be the end of everything…" Abby continued to repeat this over and over. This is what she wanted. She knew she did.

She threw the handful of pills into her mouth, unscrewing the lid of the vodka. She took a long swig, washing the pills down quickly. She let out a long sigh as the vodka left a burning sensation all the way down her throat.

The room began to spin, but there was no going back now. It's too late. It's too late for anything now. There was no hope for her anymore. Sure she loved her friends…Susan was amazing, and so was Carter. But she couldn't keep doing this to them. Once she was gone…they'd be able to forget about her…and get on with their lives. This is what they both deserved.

She was also grateful to Miss Walker. She had been so caring, and so understanding. She genuinely cared about Abby. So did Miss Watts…and Abby knew that the school counselor would be so disappointed in her. She had worked so hard with Abby. Trying her best to help her out, not to mention respecting her wishes not to get her mother involved. God…she'd definitely be disappointed.

She hadn't even thought of her mother yet. Not even once. More than likely, she'd be so off her meds she wouldn't know whether Abby was alive or dead. Who knows…maybe this would make her see how she treats her children. Maybe it would help her realize what a terrible mother she actually was.

The one person that she hated leaving behind was Eric. He was only young. He probably wouldn't understand why she had to do this. She did however; pray that Eric would be ok. She hoped that this was enough to scare her mother into sorting herself out and being there for Eric. She decided right then and there that it was ok for her to sacrifice herself in order to give Eric a better shot at life.

She stumbled back to the kitchen, as the room began to spin violently. She dropped the empty vodka bottle as her hands began to shake again. She watched it drop, as if in slow motion, and then smash into little pieces as it hit the floor. She bent down to scrape up the pieces, totally out of it. She looked down at her hands, as they began to drip with blood.

"It's too late…" she whispered huskily, before passing out on the floor amongst the broken glass.


	17. Chapter 17

Carter stormed angrily into his room, slamming his door. God he hated his parents some times. Not to mention the fact he was quite worried about Abby. Susan called him before to say that she had spoken to her, and she was ok, but so far he hadn't heard from Abby himself. Not that he really could of…as he had been fighting with his parents for over an hour. He looked at his cell phone just in case. Seeing there was a text message, he sat down on his bed. He almost breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was from Abby.

_Hi Carter. I rang, but you didn't answer. I just needed to tell you that I love you. I love you more than you will ever know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything._

Carter sat stiff, his face pale. He suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. He knew what kind of message that was. Sure they had gotten the message of her letter wrong, but this time he knew there was no mistake. He felt like crying, but stopped himself. What's the use of him sitting at home crying? He had to see if she was ok. He swung open his door, running out of his house. He could hear the shocked cries of his parents behind him, but he couldn't go back to explain. There was no time for that. His instincts had taken over.

All he could hear was the steady thumping of his footsteps as he ran through the cold night. _Thump, thump_, followed by a long shaky breath. He was sweating all over…but not from running. It was a cold sweat.

He finally reached her house, although with the amount of adrenalin in his body, he felt like he could keep running forever. Her house was dark and still and he sprinted up her front steps. He banged on the door, and then waited. Nothing. He banged again.

"Abby?" he shouted out this time.

Still nothing.

"Abby are you in there?"

Complete silence. All he could hear was the rasping of his breathing.

He looked in one of the windows but couldn't see anything. He darted around, but couldn't find a way into the house. His hands were shaking with fear, and he was so panicked he didn't even realize what he was doing. He picked up a pot plant from the porch, throwing it through the front window. His heart was beating so fast he was pretty sure he could hear that as well. He stuck his hand through the broken window, snipping the lock on the door. Opening the door wide, he scanned the room.

"Abby?" he shouted again.

He suddenly felt a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach as he saw the broken glass in the kitchen. This feeling was much worse than what he was feeling before. Before it could have just been his imagination running wild. Now it was real, and it was unfolding in front of his eyes. He took a few more cautious steps towards the kitchen, before his entire world began to spin. He looked down at the motionless body lying amidst the glass. In a daze, he dropped to the floor, rolling her over. She had blood all over her hands, and her eyes were closed.

"Abby?" he said.

"Abby can you hear me? Please tell me you can hear me" he whispered, his voice breaking.

He waited, but got no response. He raced to her phone, punching in the emergency number.

"Hello. I need an ambulance, quickly…"

After Carter had finished with the details, he hung up, unsure of what to do next. Bending down again, he tried to feel for Abby's pulse. Tears began to fall down his cheeks when he couldn't find it. He kept trying though, and almost fell over when he finally felt a weak beat. He waited for another, but it seemed to take an eternity,

'Why did you do this Abby?' he whispered, taking her hand.

"I mean. I love you. I love you so much."

Just as he'd finished speaking, he heard sirens in the distance. He kissed her lightly on the lips, before jumping up and running out the front of her house.

The next part happened all so fast. Carter didn't even have time to work out what he was doing. He felt like he was watching the world go by without him. The paramedics carried Abby out to the back of the ambulance on a stretcher, her pale and motionless body looking so fragile. Just as they loaded her on, Carter saw Susan in the distance. She was at her front gate, but Carter could tell she didn't want to come any further. He saw her look on in horror, then suddenly swing open her gate and tear across the road.

"Abby" she screamed, running towards her house.

"Abby! Oh my God what's happening?" she said hurriedly, tears falling from her cheeks.

Susan ran straight towards the crowd of paramedics, demanding to know what was going on.

Carter followed her, taking her by the arms and leading her away. He took her back to Abby's front steps, and made her sit down.

"Susan…" he began carefully. "I'm really sorry…" His voice began to crack, and he realized this was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

"She tried to kill herself didn't she?" she asked, taking him by surprise. She turned to face him, waiting for his reaction. She watched him put his hand over his face, and nod. Truthfully, she'd known as soon as she saw the ambulance pull up.

"I came over…and I found her on the floor. I didn't know what to do…" he stuttered, tears falling freely from his eyes.

Susan turned to him, and began to cry as well. The two of them sat on the steps, crying and holding each other close.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N Oh my gosh…so sorry that this has taken so long to update. Time really got away from me. This chapter's just a look at how everybody important in Abby's life is coping with what has happened._

* * *

Carter walked slowly along the hospital corridor, heading to the room where he'd spent most of his nights for over a week now. A nurse smiled brightly at him…he recognized her, but couldn't put a name to her face. Instead, he smiled weakly back, and continued walking. As he got to her room, he saw his teacher Miss Walker sitting outside.

"Hi John" she said softly.

"Hey" he said back, his voice croaky.

"How are you?"

"What are you doing here?' he asked sitting next to her, completely ignoring her question.

"I just came for a visit. Miss Watts in there now."

"Oh. How's she taking all this?"

Miss Walker stared at John for a while, realizing the mature-ness of his words. He had been through so much, and yet was only concerned about everyone else. He was mature way beyond his years.

"Not so good actually." She said, looking into the room. "She's quite upset about the whole ordeal."

Carter nodded, understanding how the counselor was feeling completely.

It had been a week since Abby's attempted suicide, and since that day neither Carter nor Miss Watts had left her side. Abby was still unconscious, and the doctors were still skeptical on whether or not she would come out of it. She was breathing on her own now, which was a good sign. It didn't rule out brain damage completely…but it was a start.

Susan had been in most days too. She'd come in for a few hours and let Abby know exactly what was happening, so that she didn't miss any of the latest gossip. Carter knew that it was hard for her though. Emotionally, he didn't think she'd ever fully recover. Actually…he didn't think any of them would.

The hospital had had a great deal of trouble locating Maggie. When Abby was brought in, they spent days trying to get in contact with her. When they finally did, she came down to visit, and totally flipped out. She was already off her meds, and as soon as she's spoken to Abby, she left again. No one had heard form her since.

Eric had been in to visit a few times as well. He was still quite confused about what was happening, and why his sister was in a coma, but Miss Watts had done her best trying to explain it to him. She was pretty sure that he understood, but he was still in a state of shock. First his sister, and then his mother disappearing. He'd been staying at Susan's house until they could work out what was going to happen with him.

Miss Walker had come to see how Abby was doing today. She had been talking to Miss Watts for updates, but hadn't really had the courage to go and see Abby. She had been thinking about her constantly though, and she was praying for her all the time. Abby was a strong girl, and she'd pull through…she just knew it.

Miss Watts came out of Abby's room, smiling faintly at Carter as she did so. Miss Watts had been at the hospital everyday since she was first contacted. When the hospital rang and informed her about Abby's condition, she felt like dying herself. She felt so helpless like this. There was nothing she could do, or say that was going to help her…and she hated knowing that. There was so much more she could have done for Abby. She had respected her wishes by not getting anybody else involved, but now she saw what a mistake she had made. She should have trusted her own judgment, rather than trying to gain Abby's trust. She could have saved her…

Carter got up from his seat, walking towards the counselor.

"How is she?" he asked softly.

"No change" she replied, looking directly at him.

She saw his eyes fall, and the pain come flooding back to his eyes. She knew he had taken it hard. She could see that pain inside him, but he was too busy being strong for everybody else. The way he had handled both Susan and Eric was amazing. He had been at the hospital everyday, sitting beside Abby, holding her hand, stroking her hair. It was easy to see how much he cared for her. How much he loved her.

All they needed now was for Abby to wake up and see how much she means to everybody.


	19. Chapter 19

There was a faint buzzing sound in Abby's ears. She couldn't work out where it was coming from. She fluttered one eyelid open slowly, followed by the other one. Her head pounded at the first glance of light. Wherever she was was bright. Very bright. She groaned a little, the pain in both her eyes and head quite severe. She lifted her head a little off the pillow, but fell back down again. She could see where she was now. She was in the hospital. She lifted one of her arms to see a drip attached to it. She stared, almost puzzled at the deep cuts on her wrist, and the scratchings all over her hands. Where on earth had they come from? She looked to the other side, jumping in shock when she realized someone was staring straight back at her.

"I can't believe you're awake" Carter said softly. "I've been praying for this day. I knew you'd make it" He leaned forward, kissing the top of her head.

"What? What happened?" Abby asked puzzled.

"You mean you don't remember?"

She shook her head, although she suddenly got an unexpected shiver right down her spine. She could tell that this wasn't going to be good news.

"You uh…you tried to kill yourself a week ago."

Abby lay back a little, as the world began to spin around her. It was all coming back to her. How could she have been so selfish? So stupid? What was she thinking?

"Oh God" she said croakily. "God I'm so sorry Carter. I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry for doing this to you."

"Shhhh" he said, putting a finger on her lips. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Do what? I'm a selfish bitch Carter."

"Please" he said pleadingly. "Please just drop it for now."

She nodded reluctantly, the guiltiness still welling up inside of her.

"I'm going to go tell them you're awake" he said, getting up.

"Carter…" she said to his back.

He spun around, looking at her, a smile on his face. He was so unbelievably ecstatic that Abby was awake.

"I love you"

He smiled again, walking back to her bedside. Leaning down, he kissed her lips softly.

"I love you too" he whispered, inches away from her face.

* * *

A week later, Abby was ready to be released from hospital. She had been on suicide watch for the first few days, while she got back into the normal routine of eating and sleeping and stuff. Then she had been to a few group therapy sessions, and a social worker had been working with her every day. Everyone had been into see her, which made her all the more anxious to get out. Susan, Eric, Susan's parents, Miss Watts, Miss Walker, Blair, and Carter of course. Carter had been in everyday, and there was no way in hell she would have got through any of this without him. She owed him her life.

But right now, all she wanted to do was go home and for everything to go back to normal. She knew it wouldn't of course…but she could dream. Miss Watts thought it would be best if she eased back into school, but her living arrangements still weren't finalized. Because of her mother's sudden departure, she and Eric had really been left in the lurch. Abby had had so many counseling sessions about her mother in the past week, she was almost glad she didn't have to go home to her.

Everyone had been so great about all of this. She had no idea how they could even all be bothered with her anymore. But suddenly, after spending a week in the hospital, she'd realized just what she was missing out on. She was missing out on being happy; and it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to her family, her friends, her teachers, or herself. It wasn't fair to anybody. Abby left the hospital with a set of new rules. For the way she acted, and the way she thought. She'd actually learnt something this week. Even though it took almost dying for her to realise any of it…she knew deep down that this was the beginning of something new.


	20. Chapter 20

Abby had eased back into school, Carter and Susan right beside her every step of the way. They had been great. She couldn't have asked for two better friends. No one had given her weird looks or anything like that. Actually, she was pretty sure that none of her school mates knew anyway. It had all been kept pretty quiet, which was exactly what Abby wanted.

She knew it wasn't going to be easy to just settle back into life, but she really was trying her hardest. There had already been days when she felt like cutting, but had stopped herself. There had been days when all she wanted to do was get pissed, but she had stopped herself. I guess they were both good things.

* * *

She walked towards Miss Watts office for her appointment. She tapped on the door, poking her head inside.

"Hey Abby. Take a seat" Miss Watts said, continuing to type something on her computer.

"I'll be right with you."

Abby nodded, looking around the counselor's office. The number of times she'd been staring at the colourful posters and this was the first time she'd ever stopped to read them. One was about bullying, the next about emotions. Abby focused her glance on the one about smoking. She should really give that up as well. That was the one thing she hadn't been able to do yet.

"Ok. Sorry about that" Miss Watts said, spinning around from her desk.

"It's fine"

"So…how have you been this week?"

Abby looked up at Miss Watts, dragging her gaze away from her feet. She wanted to make this work. She really did.

"Yeah alright I guess"

"School hasn't been too much for you?"

"It's been fine"

"Any more acts of self-harm?"

"No"

Abby sighed, cursing silently to herself. She was doing it again! The whole, short answers thing had crept back up on her. She'd been trying so hard to get out of that routine. She had promised herself she would try and open up more.

"What's wrong?" Miss Watts asked suspiciously, watching Abby strange behaviour.

"I'm sorry. I was trying really hard to not close up like I usually do, and yet I practically did it without realizing."

"That's ok" she said reassuringly. "It's not going to happen overnight Abby, you know that."

"I know. I just wish it would. I want to be fixed."

"No one can fix you Abby. Not me, not your friends, not even yourself. Your not here to be fixed. You're here to find different ways of coping…that's all. There's no such thing as a miracle cure."

Abby nodded. She knew all this. She just didn't want to believe it. She wanted everything to go back to how it was. Before she had fucked up her life and everyone's she cared about.

"It's ok to feel like that. I understand that you want this to all be over, but the truth is it's going to take time. It's going to take time and a lot of work both mentally and emotionally."

Miss Watts turned back to her desk, searching for something in one of her drawers. She pulled out a booklet, showing it to Abby.

"I want you to fill this in for the next couple of days."

"What is it?" Abby asked, cautiously.

"It's a mood diary. At the end of each day, I want you to write in it. You have to write when you felt the best, and when you felt the worst…and then give the day a rating out of 10 depending how happy you were."

"Gee that sounds like fun" Abby said sarcastically, taking the booklet off her.

Miss Watts smiled. "It takes time remember. Time and a lot of hard work both…"

"…mentally and emotionally" Abby finished for her. "I know"

"Well good." She paused for a minute, getting her thoughts together.

"You know, I really am glad that you're ok Abby. I can see already that you're making a big improvement…that you're serious this time."

"I'm glad I'm ok too. And...uh…thanks for being there. I'm sorry that I put you all through so much shit…but I'm so glad that you didn't leave me. I'm just so thankful you were there."

Miss Watts smiled again, this time leaning forward and hugging Abby tightly.

"Just promise me you'll never do anything as stupid as that again?" she said, pulling back.

"I promise."

* * *

"Hey Abby!" Susan said brightly, popping up beside Abby's locker.

"Hey…what's up?"

"What are you up to tonight?"

"Uh, nothing."

"Awesome. You wanna come to the movies? We're having a kind of group-movie session thing? Movies…dinner…shopping? You know you want to come!"

Abby grinned; almost laughing at Susan's excited face.

"Count me in!"

"Great. Oh and tell Carter he can come too" she said over her shoulder, hurrying off to invite some more people.

Abby felt someone's arms wrap around her waist, and she spun round to see Carter's smiling face.

"Where did Susan just rope us into going tonight?"

"Movies"

"And you said yes! I thought you and I were going to spend some time together tonight…alone." He whined.

"But she was so excited…I couldn't say no. And we _will_ be spending time together."

"You're a pushover you know that!"

"I am not!" she retorted.

"Are too!" he said, kissing her passionately.

They broke apart, Carter still smiling.

"See…you're a pushover!"

Abby whacked him playfully, both of them unbelievably happy. It was scary that not too long ago she was ready to throw this all away. She was so glad that she hadn't. She had way too much to live for right now.

* * *

A/N This is the end of the story people! Although i am planning to add a future epilogue very soon. Anyway...thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed my story. I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without your support and nice comments! (My aim was to get to 100 reviews...and im soooo close! lol.) Anyway,I hope you all enjoyed it...because I definately had fun writing it.

LoZa


End file.
